In Western society we have a custom of buying tickets for
flights. So that is exactly what I did
for a flight from Dalian to Jinan on China Air, leaving at 14:05. Being well prepared, I had a printout of the
e-ticket to show to airport personnel. Thus
very confident in my following established protocol, I arrived at the airport
with a full hour and 45 minutes prior to departure. I strolled over to the ticket counter, and
handed in the e-ticket and passport for identification.
Did I get a boarding pass in line with normal procedure? No. The
assistant instead developed a dead look in her eyes, similar to that observed
in a freshly boiled lobster, and after realizing my incapability to read minds,
she announced in a colourful English tone “flight cancelled”.
“This is wonderful” I thought, so I waited for further
instructions. Nothing was forthcoming
and instead, she requested me to step aside and assisted the rest of the
queue. Strangely their flights were not
cancelled. I thought nothing of her
unkindness and jumped right back in front of her, and then she became
determined to explain that I had a ticket on a ghost plane. She made some calls and I was handed the phone
headset. The voice announced in clear
English and determined clarity that my flight is cancelled. I expressed gratitude at the trouble of
explaining the message. Then I asked,
“So what now?”. This caught the voice
completely off guard - clearly no-one before this moment ever requested an
action plan if a flight is cancelled.
Could this be? Is that
why the city is expanding? It is filling
up with unsuspecting travellers whose flights are cancelled! That must be it.
After some time lapsed in deadly science, I was instructed
to hand the phone back to the original operator and further instructions were
to follow. I did this, and I could swear
this woman is speaking to her mother.
They must have spoken about the family, past visits, future ones to
follow and sick aunt Fu, all in good Chinese that I could not follow. Eventually the phone was rested down. The woman stood up calmly, handed me my
things and pointed to a counter some 12 meters away, and then said something in
Chinese. Sharp fellow that I am, and
fast acquiring mind reading capability, I knew I had to go there.
The telephone voice grew a face upon arrival, and this woman
was too young to be the other one's mother. I was wrong.
So what did they discuss across this vast gap for so long?
My new acquaintance ushered me to another lady seated behind
a computer who, I presumed, would issue me a new ticket. She demanded my passport, and in no time she
proudly announced the problem - the flight is cancelled. I explained in my calmest tone that I have
already discovered that, and I did not even use a computer. My explanation then went on that I have a
family, they are in South Africa ,
and in order to get there, my boss wanted me to first visit some friends in Jinan . For that reason, I needed another ticket, to
go to Jinan . Her eyes lost their permanent squinting gaze
and opened up to mimic a full moon in stereo as she registered my wish. She started hacking away at the computer
keyboards and called for the attention of a nearby computer geek.
Half an hour later my translator friend returned. She enquired about progress from the typing
babbling duo and then cleared her throat for the revelation. She did her best to explain they cannot
change my ticket because I did not buy it in China . I had to call South Africa to change it. It was right then that I lost control of
myself. It was 1pm in China , but back in South Africa everyone was brushing
teeth and having breakfast. Then I had
to buy a new ticket, she announced. I
though not. I did not cancel the flight.
The money I paid for the ticket would be
unused as the flight was not going anywhere and they had that money, didn't
they? Even my translator understood that
this was logical, but this was China ,
and I did not buy the ticket here, and I cleaned up behind me in the train, so
I was wrong.
By now the computer geek was looking nervously at the screen
and used up all of his airtime calling all his hacker friends to break the
deadlock with no marked success.
Then the great escape - they would give me a certificate to state
the flight was cancelled. I would then buy
a new ticket, and go on to Jinan . I would be able to use this certificate for one
year booking a new flight. As I was not
consumed in the next half hour discussion that followed about how brilliantly
they averted crisis, I had time to think.
I then came up with a brand new plan.
They were to write the certificate, and they would go to the ticket
office and get the new ticket, give it to me, and I would disappear from their
counter with it, en route to Jinan . All agreed this were more brilliant than
anything else ever thought of at this counter - real Western logic.
Another half hour discussion celebrated this genius. Then they wheeled in a fresh translator, a
man, and he had a tie. Then it was
declared that my plan was making a lot of sense, even to the new team member,
but they could not do it. Why, will
never be known, whey were sworn to secrecy.
Another revelation was that I could not buy a new ticket, also not
explained. I was stunned to my core
about this. Would I also have to move
into the city like all the others with cancelled flights? Silence…
A new plan was then concocted in record time. They would take me to the VIP waiting area. I struggled to understand how this would sort
the ticket deadlock, but not being the type to refuse kindness in face of
difficulty, I went. Then I waited, being
comforted by the random echo of airport announcements. I even got a paper cup of water. Geek-man had now been promoted to savoir in
singularity - only he could now fix this mess. My hopes were high in light of my enhanced
status. For a full 15 minutes my
anticipation of having this mess sorted grew, and finally I was called over for
the revelation. I bought a new ticket.
VIP status however does not wear off. Like being deified, there is no turning
back. I was not allowed to touch my
newly acquired ticket; it would be carried for me. I was escorted to the VIP security station,
unpack my things like we all do these days and got a proper rub down for the
security woman. See, in China this boy
search girl, and girl search boy in security is not yet polarized.
To my surprise my escort followed me through the security
gate and made sure her new deity will have no trouble being safely deposited in
the VIP lounge, waiting for the opportune scheduled moment to escape Dalian
sewer living. It struck me then, it was
again one hour and 45 minutes prior to the flight departure, exactly the same
as when this fiasco started. What would
happen if this flight was cancelled?
Let me add. I was
destined to fly on flight ZH9472, and this was no-where to be found on the
departure board.
Wednesday 22 May, 2013
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